I smell like cauliflower… or is it broccoli? Oh, never mind.
Let me start again. I was driving along when I saw a huge sign that read NOW HIRING with a big red arrow pointing toward an ugly gray building, beyond the acres of cow pasture, that houses a huge agricultural packing plant. I turned in.
In the vast, gravel parking lot, I found a place to park and stood facing the blank facade of the building, with no clue where to enter. A man walked by wearing a hair net, goggles, work boots, and long, thick rubber gloves. I said excuse me and asked him where to go to fill out an application. He looked at me and smiled, and I saw that two of his top teeth were missing. He spat on the ground next to me and said, “Why you want to work here?” I told him that I need money, just like everyone else. He looked at me, laughed, and pointed to a door partially hidden behind a security shack.
I went to the desk and waited for the woman behind the plastic partition to open it. I told her I had seen the sign by the road and wanted to apply. She looked at me, laughed, turned around and said something in Spanish to the women behind her who all looked my way and laughed too. I felt my face flame red. I must have looked as out of place as I felt but damn it, I need a job.
She handed me an application and a nub of a pencil and told me to fill it out upstairs, gesturing that way with her chin. I walked up the stairs, jostled by workers stomping up and down in heavy work boots, geared up like the man I’d spoken to in the parking lot. The whole building reeked of vegetation – cauliflower, broccoli, I’m not sure what, but it wasn’t a nice smell.
I sat down and filled out the brief application. I wasn’t sure what to list under previous occupations. I’ve been a freelance writer, a homeschooling mom, a business manager, an administrator for a couple different non-profit organizations, a student, and a few years back I did seasonal work in a local flower farm gift shop.
I started with freelance writing and worked my way back.
On the back of the form I found a questionnaire about the applicant’s race. I read through it and noted that the form was noncompulsory. It said the applicant may fill out the form voluntarily, at his or her own discretion, and that opting out would have no impact upon the applicants ability to obtain employment. I opted not to fill it out.
When I got back to the counter, the woman who’d handed me the application took it back, glanced through it, then stabbed her finger against the blank, noncompulsory form and said, “You must fill out.” I smiled and pointed to the instruction area and the word noncompulsory, and said, “But it says it’s noncompulsory.” She frowned and said, “You must fill out.” I tried again, “See here, (I pointed) it says the form is voluntary and that opting out won’t impact my ability to obtain employment.” She gave a sigh of exasperation, looked behind her to the other women in the office, lifted her hands, and said, quite loudly, “What is she saying?”
At that point, I was jostled from behind by a group of people stomping past in their gear, clearly headed out of the building after a long shift. I stepped in to the counter, forced a smile, and tried one more time, “I’m opting not to fill out the form.” The woman behind the counter looked me up and down, crossed her arms, and said, “Then you no can work here.”
I felt tears pooling behind my eyes and I heard my paternal grandmother whisper in my ear, “Hold your head up.” I lifted my chin and held out my hand for the form, which I filled out. I can’t explain why that was so hard for me, except that it didn’t make any sense. The form is noncompulsory. It said, clearly, that by Federal Law they could NOT demand compliance. I wanted to hold onto my right to say no. I wanted to be treated like a person with RIGHTS. But I need a job, desperately.
I didn’t have the birth certificate I needed to complete the application, as I’d pulled in on a whim, having seen the Now Hiring sign from the road, so I said I would come back. All the way down the hall I heeded the voice of my grandmother, “Hold your head up, Katy Jo. Do you think I was too good to pick hops in fields? Do you think Grandpa was too good to work the farm? Are you ashamed of wanting to take care of your family?”
I hit the door and took a deep breath of slightly less tainted air and looked around with fresh eyes, and, suddenly, the tears that were pooled behind my eyes spilled. Those people around me had physically demanding, smelly, factory jobs. They surely weren’t working for the joy of it. They were PROVIDING. They were taking advantage of the opportunity to make money to support themselves and their families. And I realized that I was surrounded by everyday heroes and I was suddenly proud to count myself among them.
We have hit hard times like many other people and the only way we are going to get through them is to work through them. I’ll pick hops, sort broccoli, work a press or conveyor belt… I’ll do whatever the hell it takes to stand with my husband and help take care of our family. Any chance to work for a wage is an OPPORTUNITY.
I’m a writer, manager, administrator, mother… maybe, soon, I’ll be a factory worker. What I will not be is ungrateful. I will not be lazy. I will embrace opportunity in whatever form it takes.
*The above photograph is of a local hop farm; perhaps the very farm where my grandma picked hops when she was a young woman.

Posted by Lyd on September 8, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Lovely. You are a hero, Kate :)
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 9, 2010 at 12:15 am
Ah… it makes me smile to see you here, Lyd. Thank you.
Posted by Tai on September 8, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Hey my Kate…read your latest. I had no idea you were struggling. I apologize for that Kate with all of my heart. Here I am emailing you asking you to help ME stand strong with me in our struggles and not even taking the time to check on you.
My husband got a job a couple of weeks ago..in Arkansas, a seven hour drive from here. I talked to my sis over the summer telling her I was thinking of re-entering the world of the working. She had not been here to visit so many times in one summer (because of Dad) so she and I had wonderful opportunities to have many hours together than we had in over 20 years. She told me that I did have a job. I kept this family together, that is was me that she could call and get the truth of how things were, that the non-profits I volunteered at got 100% of me. That I was making a difference! This coming from a sis that for YEARS has told “others” that I could work, should work. I was wasting my life. We aren’t out of the woods yet, but we will be on our way soon. We’ll adjust, we’ll make it..because it’s a WE that is now in my sentence.
YOU KATE are important, you are worthy and you always have been. You are kind, a good mom to those kids of yours, and you stand tall by your husband. Those things count. I know in my heart that you guys WILL come out of this. It WILL get better. I’ve never as long as I’ve known you gotten a vibe of you thought you were better than anybody else. So keep standing tall in who YOU ARE. A wonderful person who will be an asset to whomever has the wonderful opportunity to hire my friend. I’ll be praying for you. I’m here if you need. Miles don’t matter when it’s matters of the heart!
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 9, 2010 at 12:29 am
Don’t you dare apologize. I didn’t intend this to be any kind of announcement that we’ve hit hard times. Most people have, I think.
It actually didn’t even occur to me that I was saying anything personal beyond sharing the epiphany I had today about the heroism of people who are willing to do a job, any job, and gladly. I’m so tired of the sense of entitlement that I see everywhere I turn. The people at the factory were living proof that America still has a work ethic, some of her does, at least. :)
So, forget about the hard times bit. It happens and it was NOT my intent to focus there at all. We are so ridiculously blessed in so many ways, Tai. I know this. When I need your shoulder, I’ll not be afraid to ask for it, k? I have been happy to pray for you and am so glad to hear your hubby got a job. It’s obviously not ideal, but it’s something to be grateful for none-the-less.
I’ve always been a hard worker. I haven’t always been PAID for what I do but that hasn’t made it any less meaningful. I don’t discount my worth as a wife, mom, and member of my community, heck, as a human being. Truly. It’s just that in this particular season, I need to find a job that pays.
Anyway, I thank you for the love and support. I know that miles don’t matter and I feel you, my friend. Much love.
Posted by Chickee on September 8, 2010 at 5:57 pm
DAMMIT! This makes me cry. The way you were treated was horrible. Typical but horrible nonetheless. I refuse to chekc off my race on any papers. I had a woman check of “caucasian” for me once so I asked her how she knew. She said it was obvious. But seriously HOW did she KNOW? AND if those answers don’t change your odd of gaining employment, why is it even allowed to be printed on applications. “We do not descrimintate due to a person’s race, color or creed.” So then don’t even ask me dude!
I now know what my Brother was feeling when years ago my Mom told him I was applying to work at the factory. He was angry and didn’t want “his Sister” to work in a factory. I told him I needed a job and they were hiring, full time and I’d have benefits. He was still upset.
I know now it was because he knew what a factory job entailed and what it can do to a spirit over time. Factory jobs harden people. It sucks and you have to fight that hardness from entering into you daily.
I know you have to do what you have to do but I refuse to like it! I feel like my brother right now. I want to tuck you away and protect you from the people in the factories who have allowed the harshness of the job swallow them.
BUT I know you are a strong person who loves her family and you certainly are not afraid of hard work. =) You have a way about you that will probably have those hard asses eating out of your hand within a few days.
I love you. You are MY hero!
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 9, 2010 at 12:44 am
You’re a hero, Chickee, plain and simple. Let me get that out of the way first.
Honestly, I wasn’t treated horribly. English was not the first language of any of the women in the office and they weren’t close to being fluent. It was also clear to me that they weren’t qualified to be handling job applications. I’m actually worried about my SS# sitting there on that application… It was hardly a professional, organized environment.
I gave up and filled out the damn form because I didn’t have any way to communicate meaningfully with the woman in the office. She simply didn’t understand that the form was voluntary. I bet she’s probably never had anyone refuse to fill it out before.
Anyway, I understand how you feel. It was as strange to me as any foreign country I’ve lived in or visited, and it scared me. When I realized I couldn’t even communicate with the people in the office I felt hopeless. I don’t want to work in that kind of environment, where I have no voice, no ability to make myself understood. But I’ll do it if I have to and I’ll be thankful for the opportunity. I won’t sit around with my hand out.
I have a new respect for your strength and I can clearly see what a LIGHT you must be amongst your co-workers. They are blessed indeed to have you, Chickee. I’m not afraid of hard work, not a bit, but I am afraid of that environment. We’ll see what happens. I doubt I’ll have anyone eating out of my hand but maybe, just maybe, I’ll manage not to be eaten. *CHOMP*
Posted by Chickee on September 9, 2010 at 2:40 pm
OK will will forgive them for their lack of knowledge about the paperwork…. sort of. The language barrier isn’t as prevalent around my part of the woods, yet. It is getting more and more common and irritating.
psssst…. I am afraid of hard work. LoL Not really but I do prefer my work to be on the lite side. hahaha!!!
love ya!
Posted by Paige on September 8, 2010 at 7:27 pm
I clean houses, what can I say. Except I am and have always been thankful that my manna is supplied each and every day. . I used to be ashamed to say this in front of some folks but I am not anymore. Because doing so has provided amazing for my kids and I. And where is the shame in that?
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 9, 2010 at 12:50 am
Now, cleaning houses is something I do rather spectacularly! =D I used to help people organize and clean their home spaces as a ministry. I always took those skills for granted, didn’t even realize they WERE skills for the longest time. I think you should be proud of what you do, Paige. You’re helping people! Bonus that you get to be paid for doing so.
Posted by Paige on September 9, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I have to agree after cleaning for nearly ten years that it is, indeed a gift. Not everyone has this same gift, thus, they call ME :)) Now how cool is that?
Posted by Kevin on September 8, 2010 at 8:11 pm
Wow, Katy. Chris hit it dead on. How they treated you is typical. Wrong, but the way it is in manual labor. And it will harden you. Ten + years working warehouse, so I know. I LOVED that job, but I found that it hardened me, to the point where nothing shocked me anymore. Never let that happen to yourself. I wish you and your family the best. You are in my prayers.
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 9, 2010 at 1:04 am
I don’t think they intended to treat me badly. They just didn’t understand me. Looking back, I feel silly for having tried so hard. I don’t speak Spanish, the women in the office barely spoke English, and they clearly did not understand the forms they were handing out.
Everything will be fine, IS fine. Life tossed a head-injury at our son and it changed things in many ways, the least of which is financially. He’s making real progress. We are blessed. I didn’t intend to be putting out a cry for help here. I just wanted to share what I learned today. That being said, your prayers and well wishes are much appreciated. :0)
Posted by Bruce on September 9, 2010 at 9:10 am
I agree whole heartedly with you Kate. Why do they even put that in the application if they are not going to consider it. You were treated rather shabbily my friend,it’s a shame but….that’s just the way a lot of people act now-a-days. I think people have lost the ability to respect their fellow man or women anymore. I agree with your Grandma Kate, “Hold your head up girl!” be proud of who you are and what you are trying to do. To me my friend you are a hero! and I applaud you and all of those everyday heroes out there, making a living and supporting their families! Awesome post Kate!!!
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 9, 2010 at 10:25 am
It’s so nice to see you, Bruce. :0) I don’t think the job allows for much dignity, which is one of the reasons I was so impressed that people would keep coming back, keep working SO HARD for minimum wage, when so many people happily sit on welfare or unemployment, thinking a job like that would be beneath them. I KNOW people like that. People who wouldn’t work in a factory or flip a burger for anything. Finding myself in that factory was admittedly a low point, but then I experienced a paradigm shift. I realized that there is ALWAYS dignity in hard work. I think we often admire the wrong people. The heroes among us often go completely unappreciated.
Posted by Richardttu on September 9, 2010 at 10:41 am
You know, it just occurred to me that when I read this last night, I completely spaced over the part that you were struggling. I guess I have not been a good enough friend in terms of keeping up with what has been going on in your life. I get wrapped so up in my own life, that I have blinders on, I guess. I do know I have several friends struggling in some way, and I sometimes feel like i am not worthy of the blessings I have.
Stay strong and know if there were ever some way I can help, I will
Posted by Richardttu on September 9, 2010 at 10:59 am
Looks like WP ate my comment. Lets try again. It has occurred to me that when i read this last night, i completely overlooked the fact that you have been struggling. I have not been a good friend in terms of keeping up with what is going on in your life, so I was completely unaware. I do get wrapped up in my own life from time to time and I get blinders as to what’s going on around me. I know I have several friends who are struggling in various ways, and I feel like I do not deserve the blessings I have.
Stay strong, and know that if there is ever a way I can help, I will.
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 9, 2010 at 11:18 am
You are very kind, Richard. I wish I had taken the time to re-write this blog, maybe take what was a personal experience and turn it into a third person story, because my intent wasn’t to talk about myself or say, hey, we’re over here struggling. I just wanted to say something positive, share an epiphany of sorts. I always try to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and I caught myself feeling… scared, embarrassed, and completely out of my element at the factory. As I said, I was near tears. Then, I realized that what I had was an opportunity – it wasn’t a bad thing, it was a GOOD thing – and I realized that the people who do those hard jobs day in and day out are worthy of respect and admiration. I hadn’t really thought about it that precisely before.
The only reason you don’t know about our situation is because I haven’t said much about it beyond the mention that we had to sell our horses and ponies, which was hard. Then God blessed us with a gift-horse. Just typing that brought tears to my eyes. I feel SO BLESSED, Richard. If we can afford to keep him that will be wonderful. If we can’t, well, we got to love him for a season. How cool is that?
I want you to be blessed. :) It makes me happy to hear you say that you are. I am too. We all struggle in different ways but the struggles don’t define our lives any more than the blessings do. At my best, my sense of gratitude isn’t dependent upon circumstances. I work toward making that the place I live, always in gratitude.
I think of Philippians 4:12, which says, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” I like that. I think the secret is gratitude. ALWAYS, God is good. :0)
Thank you for being my friend, Richard. You’re good people. :0)
Posted by wolfshadesblog on September 10, 2010 at 12:42 pm
I knew as soon as you came to that question about race that: 1) it was there for a reason; and 2) if you didn’t fill it out, despite what the law says and despite what the form even says, that you would not be hired.
I mean, why put that on the application if they’re not allowed to ask you, unless they intended to make a judgement one way or the other. First, upon whether you completed it, and second, upon what race got put in there. Cheesy and wrong wrong wrong.
I kind of see that application form as a small example of what goes on every day in the workplace. The boss is not supposed to discriminate among employees or potential employees based on sex. But you know that if a woman comes in who happens to be married, and who doesn’t have kids yet, the boss is going to place her a little lower on the priority list for new hires. If the next person in line is a guy, any guy, he’s going to be preferred. Because he can’t get pregnant.
There’s what the laws say, and then there’s what the realities of life are. And sometimes the two are so completely different.
I emphatically agree with what Chickee said up there too, about how factory life can really get into your spirit. Even the most careful and aware person can be affected by it. I don’t know any other way of putting it. The way she writes – I’m sure she’s had a factory job or two. As have I.
Still – there is so much joy in your post. The joy that comes from wanting to do something about one’s situation, and not just sit back and let it all happen. Come hell or high water. :)
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 10, 2010 at 1:55 pm
It’s funny, when I saw that the form was very clearly, redundantly, in fact, marked as voluntary, with the notation that by law I could not be discriminated against based on my participation or non-participation, I assumed that I WOULD be discriminated against based on my race, – I mean there weren’t very many Caucasian people that I could see – if I filled it out, but that I would not be FORCED to fill it out. If I had refused, I have no doubt she would have thrown my application in the trash because she simply, and I’m convinced of this, did not understand the law and was not qualified to be handling applications. I’m actually worried about having left my social security number, due to rampant problems with identify theft here in the USA. Anyway…
Being a Caucasian woman was two strikes against me and I felt like they weren’t taking me seriously anyway. We’ll see if they call. I really need a job. I don’t think I’m ideally suited to a factory job by any means BUT I’m a hard worker and right now I can’t afford to be picky. Jobs are hard to come by. I imagine I would struggle not to let it get to me, yes.
Anyway, come hell or high water is exactly right. Imma do what it takes and I’ll approach it with a heart of gratitude for the opportunity to do something. :)
Posted by Eccentricity on September 13, 2010 at 11:52 pm
They need to know if they can fill their EOE requirements by hiring you–whatever you do don’t mark yourself as caucasian. I always just mark “other”. Could be true. I don’t even know my father and what are they gonna do? Check?
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 28, 2010 at 4:45 am
It never even occurred to me to mark anything other than Caucasian. Thanks for the tip, Eccentricity. I’m going to do just that from now on. Our youngest daughter is mixed race and it always upsets her that she has to claim one race or another; when people ask her about her race/ethnicity (it’s not always easy to tell, depending on what she does with her hair), she says she’s a mulatto. It’s an outdated term but she loves it because it honors both sides of her biological heritage. I hate it that “they” want to categorize us by race, like that, and then they discriminate, which is just ridiculous because the whole point of the damn race thing was to stop discrimination. :/
Posted by carmenlezeth on September 25, 2010 at 11:49 am
Oh my God! That just made me cry…. I don’t even know what to say. Wow. I’m in California, we’ve been hit hard too and I’ve had a similar experience, but…
I’m so sorry but thank you for writing that… somehow you made me feel so proud too.
Carmen
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 28, 2010 at 4:47 am
Thank you for visiting my blog, Carmen. I’m honored. I always find myself feeling your comments on Doug’s page, so I’m not surprised you feel me here. I’m going to pop over and see your blog (I’m hoping you have one!)
Posted by Confessions Of A Dizzy Blonde on September 27, 2010 at 1:12 am
Sorry to hear about that! I hope your son will get well soon!
My dad always told me that there is work if you want it – so if you have to sweep floors. I grew up with that attitude, yet I have at times almost cried when I have done work that I didn’t enjoy at all; like I was wasting away instead of living. One has to take it step by step though and sooner or later one climbs the mountain.
If you want to do writing, admin, etc. you can always sign up for work as a VA (Virtual Assistant) for different companies, as well as freelance as it on sites such as eLance.com. You may already know of this, but anyway – thought I’d share it.
Good Luck!
Posted by UnequivocalKate on September 28, 2010 at 4:53 am
Thank you, Maria, for the well wishes regarding our son.
I agree with your dad but that doesn’t mean I’ve enjoyed every job I’ve had. I remember working at a fish house as a teenager and I hated it. I endured A LOT but finally quit when the boss cornered me in the walk in fridge and put his hands on me. It wasn’t THAT long ago, but long enough that there wasn’t a whole lot I could do – or maybe it was more that I was too embarrassed to say anything and lacked the confidence to stand up for myself. Anyway, it was a job and it enabled me to buy clothes (I was responsible for all of my personal expenses by the time I was 13) and I was grateful for it, even though I hated it. I was fortunate to find a job I liked better after I left that one.
Anyway, I do some freelance writing but it’s not regular and I occasionally make a buck or two working with horses, but I need a JOB. I’ve never even heard of a Virtual Assistant or eLance.com; I will definitely check both out. Thanks so much for the tip!! =D
Posted by Confessions Of A Dizzy Blonde on September 29, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Good gawd! That is awful! When I worked in a pub in Paris, one of the first days a manager called me a “fucking bitch.” Then we had a “talk” as he was checking how the employees where getting along. I told him I didn’t appreciate that comment. He said he didn’t realize he had said it, apologized and called me Angel from then on. We became great friends. The French be French ;)
I have had a few jobs that drove me insane as for some reason I always assumed work would be fun – I enjoyed school and I did well. Although I dreamt of being a starving artist for a while, the reality of having no money to get around and doing work you loathe is hideous. And I’ve still been lucky. Also, in a city there is always jobs, but in the countryside it’s different. I wish I had dealt with money better though – when I read Rich Dad Poor Dad I finally got it. I wish all kids got to read that book before leaving High School.
Living in LA without a car has been an experience. Taking the bus with various strange individuals have given me a taste of “the other side of America” and it ain’t pretty. Growing up in Sweden I didn’t see those things.
We just sublet our flat for a couple of weeks, as a friend is away, so we will stay there. I’m thankful – it gives me enough money to get my driver’s license!
Virtual Assistant – there are tons of companies that hire VAs these days. eLance is a good place to start checking and you can sign up immediately to bring work in. There are many other such sites as well. :)
Posted by Ileene on September 28, 2010 at 6:51 am
Hi beautiful….I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again …almost every bad thing that has happened to me has been a blessing..it has taught me more things …about myself..AND about the people around me and what the substance and fabric of life REALLY is..it’s the little things that matter ..(.REALLY) almost the things you can’t even touch or hold in your hand…I struggle with one or two things..seeing the purpose and how it all relates and I can only hope I will seek the forgiveness I know will completely release from the things I can’t justify or see the reason for..I hope to accomplish it before I leave this physical plane…and if not maybe I’ll accomplish it on the other side. I do hope that job comes through soon..XOXO
Posted by Drew on October 9, 2010 at 12:02 pm
As the saying goes….. an honest days work for an honest days wage…
I so hope you get a job. Whomever employs you will be more than fortunate for having you there.
Often we do have to do what we have to do, and our want to do it is not part of the equation.
Sacrificing ourselves to do what is necessary is a noble thing, and I admire you for your outlook.
All too often the everyday heroes that sacrifice to provide for those they love go unappreciated and I wish that were not the case.
xoxo